BALLS.

I have mixed feelings about college at the moment. Yes, I have a really chill group of friends. Yes, I like my classes (mostly). Yes, I like my room. But there's a lot of shit going on, mostly because of my own worrying.

This is going to sound so stupid, but I genuinely feel like I don't quite fit in because I've never drinked, smoked, or been in a relationship. ):

I've been here a week and I've already been to a pot party. No, I didn't smoke the pot. I had two sips of the disgusting 'otion' some crappy mix of orange juice and alcohol. I feel socially inadequate. The three friends I went with all smoked, and I was just like '. . .' and I left after a bit. Now, I don't have a problem with them smoking or whatever, I wanted to stay to make sure they got back ok (even though our dorm is like a block away from the place). I'm already taking responsibility for their well being. But they came back fine. I had to dispense relationship advice and tell my friend not to make a move on my other friend, especially while he was high.

And then there's the entire issue of me already developing a crush on one of my friends. I develop affection too easily, and I'm just a damn hopeless romantic. And I doubt he wants the same type of relationship I do. So I'm just waiting for the right moment to pull the 'i gave you advice, now you give me advice' card on my other friend. But both times when I thought I should, I couldn't do it.

feck.

So, my classes are ok. I spent 260 dollars or so on books. German is the hardest class so far. There are about 5 letters in the german alphabet that make an 'ooh' sound. Intro to the theatre and freshmen studies are going pretty ok though.

as for the internet...

i've been too bust with school and angst to do much.

The Lamog situation is frustrating. I want an Unconverted Grey Kyrii or Darigan Bori too bad to be very reasonable about trading, and on the UFA end I'm just getting a bunch of fail.

buuuut

i have german at 8:30 tomorrow, and its nearly 2 am now.

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